


if somebody loved you, they'd tell you by now

by saturnaliea



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Dream Smp, Emotional Manipulation, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Stockholm Syndrome, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28736937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnaliea/pseuds/saturnaliea
Summary: ‘He was keeping me safe!’ Tommy seethed as the redness of the cold in his cheeks turned to red, hot anger.‘Do you feel safe, Tommy?’ The anger went out like a match. Techno had let the flame burn down to his fingers and forgot about the hurt.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 101





	if somebody loved you, they'd tell you by now

**Author's Note:**

> I have a mini playlist to recommend during your reading:  
> That's Okay by The Hush Sound  
> Sunny December by Bombadil  
> A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers
> 
> I felt immediate embarrassment upon completing this so I couldn't bear to read it again... Enjoy! Be sure to let me know what you think!

‘Good night, Theseus.’

The name had become a sort of joke between Tommy and Techno in many ways. Denying the tragic story attached to it in favour of adding some friendly banter to the tense atmosphere. They were good at that, throwing quips at each other and acting like they were fine all the time. Neither one of them thought it was useful to dwell on emotions if they weren’t fleeting spurts of anger that fuelled their chaotic impulses. Even as they clashed, two boys angry at the world since the day they were born, their similarities far outweighed their differences. Tommy would never be a hero and Techno never tried.

 _Theseus_ , Tommy sneered at the thought of the figure, a dark and inescapable shadow in his mind. He paced his room below Techno’s house and found himself increasingly jealous despite the hero’s fate. Jealous of his strength, his unwavering ideals, and more alarmingly, his death. A man who had behaved far more heroic than he ever had or ever would and had the guts to follow through with his impulses to the very end. And then there was Tommy, thieving from and cowering under the home of a man who couldn't care less about him. He dealt blows to his pillows, unable to steady the raging anxiety buzzing from his heart into his unsteady limbs, all the while hearing Techno’s boots click along the wooden floors above. He tried to focus on the monotony of the movement to steady his nerves but all it did was make him remember his shortcomings, memories clicking past like pictures in a mechanical slide projector. Some in black and white, some in full colour, and others that burned at the edges and scratched out faces. Tommy pressed the heels of his palms deep into his eyes until he could see stars, trying to remove the images from his head. Even the happy ones… Those somehow hurt more.

Upstairs Techno was focused on the organisation of his home during a moment of blissful peace from the voices in his head. He juggled between rearranging his chests and brewing another collection of potions. They seemed to dwindle so much faster now that his home had a rebellious exile in its midst. Even though Techno grumbled, he felt a lightness in his chest at having a reason to complete monotonous tasks at his own pace. He found it difficult to get to sleep most nights on account of the voices, his own thoughts, and now Tommy. A sudden heaviness seized his chest as he took a break and glanced out the window into the blackness of the night. The torches surrounding the cabin flickered and his tired mind was tricked by the shadows cast upon the snowy canvas, setting the voices on edge. The rational side of his brain knew that nothing was out there and even if there were, he had the means to protect himself but that did not settle the nervous voices. He rubbed at the bridge pof his nose feeling a migraine growing deep in his skull, resisting the urge to yell at what he could not control. The last thing he wanted was to disturb Tommy who had been anxiously hovering all day with a very clear lack of sleep. It almost reminded Techno of himself. Almost.

His ears twitched backwards as he heard the undeniable open and close of a door.

‘Hullo?’ He called out, lengthening the ‘o’ in his drawling voice. No response.

Rather than hearing the booted stride of Phil entering as he had expected, he heard hurried and quieting footsteps leaving the cabin. There was only one possibility unless someone else had managed to burrow themselves beneath his home. Tired and heavy, he walked to the window and saw a panicked Tommy struggling through the deep snow, glancing backwards as though he were being chased.

Techno stalked down to his base, grabbing his strongest sword on the way, knowing the young boy would not get far in that weather, especially as he neglected to wear more than one thin layer. He took a tired breath already feeling the chill through the wooden doors, relieved the snow had stopped, and he had not begun to wind down for the night so was still wearing his winter cloak. He prepared himself for a heart to heart with a fragile kid he was not at all equipped for. He didn’t want to treat the kid as though he were made of glass, he was sixteen not five, but his stubborn determination had been fading as the days went by and Techno feared what he had on his mind and how he would react if approached the wrong way. The two were not made for communication and Techno could not help but wish Phil was there.

The weary muscles in his arms cried out from a long day of mining as he wrestled the door open against the wind, but the worried voices pushed him forward. The force of the wind caused the door to squeak on its hinges and crash closed after he stepped out. He muttered a curse under his breath realising that this was not going to be the quiet approach he had planned. Seeing Tommy’s shivers halt, frozen in panic, only served to solidify this.

‘Where are you goin’?’

‘Ah! Techno!’ Sternly setting his jaw to appear as though his hands were not shaking in plain sight, he replies much louder than before. A reflex to confrontation that Techno recognised all too well. ‘Uh no-,’ his voice merely a tremble as he cleared his rough throat, ‘nowhere.’

‘Tommy.’

Silence.

Techno’s features seemed to age as he exhaled a sigh, his eyes drooping downwards and lines sculpting into his brow. As though he had breathed out the final remnants of youth he had left. He closed his eyes for a moment both to calm his anger and resist the shifting he felt as his tail flicked behind him, marking lines in the show. He glanced around for mobs and lowered his sword, relieved at their absence. One less problem.

‘Tommy, get back inside.’

The calm but raging demeanour almost made Tommy flinch, looking far too familiar. He felt like he was gazing into an inevitable storm of his own creation.

‘He's- He's probably waiting for me, Technoblade.’

‘Dream?’

‘Yes, Dream! Who else?!’ Tommy saw the way Techno wrinkled his nose without thought and the flames rose in the boy’s eyes. Somehow Techno felt better seeing Tommy express something beyond the gloom he had been blanketed in for days. ‘You would _never_ understand how I feel, I was left behind & Dream...,’ his voice softened and broke down as he struggled for the appropriate words, ‘Dream was my friend. He was the only one who would visit me in exile. The only one who _cared._ ’

It felt colder and colder as Tommy choked his words out, gripping his arms and leaving crescent marks engrained on his forearms. This should have been one of the outcomes Techno considered. He was all too aware of Dream’s machinations among the population and how he manipulated people to suffer and perform his whims. Techno knew Tommy was resilient or more accurately, stubborn. He wished he had been a hell of a lot more stubborn against Dream, never imagining that Tommy would call Dream a friend. He didn’t know what to do.

‘You know he was never your friend. _I_ know...’ Techno took a step forward, reaching out, only to stop when Tommy lifted his hands in fearful defence. The voices mourned, pitiful whispers tickling his ears as they cried out for both of them, ‘deep down, you _know_ he wasn’t your friend.’

‘What could you know about how I’m feeling, Techno? You don't even care about people. All you do is destroy!’ It stung. Even though he knew that was the image he projected. He just thought Tommy would see him in a different light now that they lived together, now that they were a team. How could he not care?

‘I am out here with you! Tryin’ to convince you not to do somethin’ stupid!’

The air was filled with unease. Tommy shook, unsure himself whether it was the cold or the fear he couldn’t restrain. Techno’s head thrummed harder as he attempted to gather his words.

‘He manipulated you, Tommy, it's what he does! I know his game and he's got you strung up like another one of his puppets. Here’s what’ll happen: He’ll use you and then clip your strings and leave you to rot. We are _all_ in his debt because that’s exactly what he wants. We're all pieces to him in his deadly game of chess. And to him, _Tommy_? You're just a pawn.’

‘I-.’

‘Just listen to me.’ Techno said, holding back the edge in his voice and received a stiff nod in reply, ‘You're doing what he wants. He's playing the board and he's got you right where he needs you. Vulnerable and helpless. One false move and he will eliminate you from the board. Tommy, you _know_ he will.’

‘He was protecting me.’ He glares at Techno and his voice has a startling certainty to it.

‘From who? Who is going to hurt you? Who comes to mind?’ He challenged, widening his stance and thrusting his sword into the snow. Tommy made to speak and defend himself, but Techno was not giving him another moment to catastrophise, ‘is it Dream? He wasn’t protecting you, Tommy! He was hurting you, _using_ you.’

‘He was keeping me safe!’ Tommy seethed as the redness of the cold in his cheeks turned to red, hot anger.

‘Do you feel safe, Tommy?’ The anger went out like a match. Techno had let the flame burn down to his fingers and forgot about the hurt. He internally reprimanded himself for inciting fear in the kid, the voices echoing their complaints.

Tommy fell to his knees not able to take his eyes off the ground, tears blurring the glistening snow below him. His fists tightened in embarrassment and he curled in on himself. The light of the torches cast black shadows across his features, making the lit areas appear starker. For a moment he held the lamenting spirit of a Romantic hero, a dark painting that would be found in an equally dark corner, not a hint of joy to be seen. Techno had never been one for fine art, the sight chilled his blood. He couldn’t stand it.

Tommy picked at his hands, scratching his fingers frayed from stress. He peered up only to see Techno with his neck craned to the sky, billowy breaths visible in the cold night. With a rub of his eyes, Techno begins his slow approach, leaving the sword behind knowing it was within walking distance if needed but prioritising Tommy’s emotional wellbeing for now. He wasn’t as jumpy as before, but he still appeared as though he were ready to leap up and run to Dream any second. Techno couldn’t wait to get his hands on him.

Up close, Techno could see just how ragged Tommy had run himself. His clothes that Phil had helped to mend were falling apart again as though someone had been pulling at the threads. Techno’s wide eyes scanned Tommy’s appearance. It looked as though it wasn’t just physical threads that Tommy had been taking apart. Dull eyes and ashen skin would haunt Techno long after this night. He didn’t know what scared him more, Tommy running off to Dream or the fact that he didn’t take a single piece of armour or weapons. His brow glistened with panicked sweat even as he shivered. Techno dropped beside him and took mercy on Tommy’s numbing limbs, unclasping his cloak and draping it around the kid’s shoulders. The icy air nipped at his skin, but he had the good sense to wear more than one layer below his cloak, the thermal undershirt keeping him at ease. His pigman side preferred the heat but time had made him partial to snowy climates.

Tommy hummed in appreciation, pulling the cloak tight and working his fingers into the fur as he buried his nose in his knees, hugging them close. If it weren’t for the situation Techno would find the image endearing, Tommy swamped in a cloak made for someone much taller than him. Techno assessed the space between them before slinking closer and placing a hand on the kid’s back. The moment he did it he felt Tommy’s suppressed sobs; small whimpers and shaking shoulders all wrapped up in velvet. He rubbed his back, drawing shapes in a way he remembers being comforting… But it has been a while. It must inspire some form of comfort though as Tommy’s shaking shoulders slow down and long puffs of breath appear in the frosty air above him.

Techno was not a man of many words, especially if those words required complex and bleak emotions. His stunted empathy showed on his face as he opened and closed his mouth looking for the correct words. He wasn’t sure any words would be _correct_ in Tommy’s eyes. ‘Let’s, _uh_ , think about…,’ he grimaced, ‘L’Manberg-.’

‘They don’t care about me.’ The bitter face of the boy popped up at once, the warmth seeming to have renewed some of his energy.

‘Not even Tubbo?’

The mention of his name seemed to make a light spark in Tommy’s eyes as he gazed off at nothing as though he were having a million memories at once. He hesitantly muttered a ‘no’ followed up with a new air of conviction. ‘No. He did this to me.’

‘I wouldn't be so sure about that. Contrary to the stupid beliefs of your _government_ ,’ he spat the word with malice, ‘president is _not_ the highest rank on this server. But you already know that.’

The fury rose in him again and Tommy’s smouldering face inched closer, the air around them a glowing heat of poorly suppressed rage. If Techno didn’t know better, he would be tricked into believing the kid was part blaze. There were flames in those eyes. ‘Dream is _not_ responsible for my exile, he visited me even when my so-called friends wouldn't.’ Realising himself Tommy backed down again, rubbing his tearful face harshly and turning away, but Techno swore he could smell the smoke of a dying fire, ready to be relit with one blow.

Not wanting to fan the flames Techno assumed the calmest tone he could, ‘is that so?’

The reflection of the torches in his glaring eyes was unnerving. Even Techno knew that no teenager should have this much pain within them. ‘You weren't even there when I was all alone. You don’t _know_.’

‘Then enlighten me, Tommy.’

Eyes widening as though he didn’t expect a chance to defend himself, Tommy struggled to find his words. ‘At first, I thought it was... a joke, I guess. Like Tubbo would jump out and yell,’ He paused to sniff before doing a weary imitation of Tubbo’s voice, ‘ _I got you!’_ Techno nodded encouraging him to continue. If he could do one thing it was listening. ‘Ghostbur was with me a lot at the start, he kept me company but he's not the same y'know… Dead.’

Techno hummed, his expression dropping with remorse.

‘But he visited less and less the longer I was out there,’ he laughed, and the sound was like poison, corrosive spite lacing each of his words, ‘I don't even know how long I was out there. I counted the days by Dream's visits.’ His voice became less acidic as he began to talk about Dream, ‘I'd begin every day, crafting the same stuff every time Dream destroyed it. I think I hated him at first, but it gave me purpose, each day starting again, y'know? I would look forward to seeing him.’

Hearing the reality he tried to ignore straight from Tommy’s mouth set Techno’s teeth on edge. He scrubbed his forehead above pinched eyebrows as if to wipe out the thoughts trying to escape his mind. The voices chiming in with their mixed opinions did not help matters at all. He began to say Tommy’s name only to be interrupted.

‘I know it sounds bad, but it was for my own good! I did so many bad things, Techno… I was in exile, I had to accept the consequences.’

‘You are a person, Tommy. You were already paying for your mistake as an exile. What he did was inhumane,’ Techno looked almost as exhausted as Tommy, leant back with his hands behind his back and long legs ahead of him. His position was a complete contrast to Tommy’s hunched form but no less anxious.

‘Dream wants you to think you're the bad guy but you're not. Take it from me,’ He nudged Tommy’s shoulder, his hands jumping up and gesturing to his rumpled getup with a half-hearted grin, ‘now _I’m_ a bad guy.’ There was a hint of melancholy to his voice even as he attempted to lighten the mood.

Tommy’s sad smile is interrupted as he suppresses a flinch when Techno’s gloved hand moves up to ruffle his hair. A glint of hurt reflects in Techno’s eyes that passes so fast that Tommy cannot be sure it was there at all. He feels guilty all the same as the chilled hand cautiously goes down to the back of his neck, soothing the hot rage that lingered there.

‘Much as it pains me to say it, we're family now, Tommy,’ he looks into Tommy’s eyes with practised focus, ‘And I protect family.’

The look on Tommy’s face is one Techno won’t forget any time soon as his face flashes with something strange and conflicted. Craning his neck from his crouched position at Techno’s side, it was possible to see his irises vibrate and his mouth twitch seconds before his face crumbled and the tears spilt down his cheeks. He hid his face in Techno’s shirt, leaving damp patches behind. ‘But Dream-.’

Techno looked at the kid whose unshakeable spirit had been knocked down by a husk of a man. He pulls him closer, protecting him the best he could. He could only offer what he wished he had in his own youth.

‘Dream is nothing to you. He took advantage of you. He's making you his pawn because guess what, Tommy? He's scared of you. Terrified. Because you’re so goddamn determined,’ Techno shook his head and held his breath, feeling the familiar tingle of his skin and pushing back the trembling beast inside him. The voices were encouraging him to remain calm which he was unfamiliar with. He felt Tommy begin to lean into his side as if he could feel Techno’s struggle. He breathed, loosening his muscles and felt Tommy relax in return, ‘Dream needs you to become a pawn because he isn’t able to take down a king. He wants you to fold and if you go back to him, he will win. Checkmate, Tommy.’

The silence was so thick Tommy imagined he was drowning in it. Swells of silence pouring into his lungs and flowing in his breaths. Like maybe he would swallow it and choke. He inhaled and his voice rattled. Techno sat sullen, averting his gaze from the tired, shivering boy cocooned against his side. He gave Tommy’s shoulders a squeeze looking out at the rising sun.

‘Come back home, Theseus.’

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe I wrote the majority of that angst listening to an electro-swing playlist? Coping mechanisms 101.
> 
> Excuse if that was super OOC, I'm still grasping the SMP characters as people detached from their real-life counterparts. Tommy is especially experimental because I wanted to explore more complex emotions than we see in roleplay.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought! Be kind please, I haven't written fanfic in years. I'm also up for Dream SMP writing suggestions.


End file.
